**There's a rumor going around that hockey parents are nuts. The rider on said rumor is that goalie parents--specifically the moms--are even MORE nuts. I'm here to set the record straight. . . sort of. (If I'm being honest, I can only speak for myself. I'm not responsible for any other bat-shit-crazy goalie moms out there)
A little background: When my son started playing in net, he did so because he was mildly interested in the position and no one else was. That was his first year of Mite hockey. The coaches had kids rotate into the position that year. By the time he was a squirt, Henry was in net full time. So, he's been playing this position--almost exclusively--for seven years. In that time, I've heard countless times that goalies and goalie parents are nuts. I just don't think that's true.
The "TRUTH" as I see it: Basically, once you start in net, you might find yourself there for-ev-er! Most skaters want to keep skating out and they figure out right away that being in net is not for them. That's fine. Henry loves playing this position but. . . because there was often no one else who could/would do it, he had to be a "model citizen" for his team. Show up, ignore any illness you feel you might be developing if it's a game day, double practices for more time catching pucks, never give up, and keep on keepin' on. Henry is not the best goaltender on the planet but he's tough and he works hard. He can weather almost anything without too much trouble. I admire that about him. I don't think that makes him crazy or weird--he's just responsible.
Despite being proud of my goaltender--win or lose--because I know he's doing a job not too many kids want to take on, watching your kid in net is sort of awful. Yeah, yeah, it's a team effort. . . this is true and we all know it. However when you are watching (at the HS level more so than others) some skater hurtling toward your goalie--one of the people you would, literally, kill for to protect--at mach 12 on a breakaway, and the parent behind you says, "oh no!" it doesn't feel like "team" anymore. It's just scary. Tangentially, I've also learned that I have a lot more self control than I thought I did. In reference to the "oh no" types and self control: I've learned over the years that I can put up with a lot more shit for the sake of not embarrassing my goalie than I ever would have imagined. If you've ever wondered why goalie parents often sit away from everyone else, it's because they are exercising self control. Trust me on this one. It's a lot easier to sit in the "goalie parent cone of silence" than to try to ignore the commentary some folks feel entitled to spew about like parade candy. I have lost my temper exactly one time in the 8 years that Henry has been playing hockey and. . . at the time. . . I was sitting around a bunch of other spectators. Probably my own fault for wanting to sit with my buddies (who are all super and supportive) but, in my defense, how was I to know the armchair goalie coach was going to pitch up right behind us.?
Pro tip to all sports parents: If you want to talk sauce about a kid on the ice, court, field, pitch. . . . make sure that child shares your DNA. If not. . . maybe STFU. Let their coaches do the coaching. They know a hell of a lot more about it than the rest of us.
Maybe that's where the "crazy goalie parent/mom" business has it's roots. . . too many times a parent has had it up to their eyeballs with the commentary of others. I mean, we are only human and we're desperately hoping one of the people we love most in the world comes off the ice feeling satisfied and not disappointed. I don't know. . . if a sports parent has a short fuse in the rest of their lives, maybe they are more inclined to throw down (hopefully only verbally) in the stands. I'm really not that person so I'm guessing.
Another thing I've learned over the past 8 years is that people like to tell you All. The. Time. that, "goalies are weird" as they are pulling some sort of knowing face. I'm here to tell you right now, they aren't any weirder than any other hockey player. Just because they will put themselves in front of a rock-hard puck on purpose does not make them strange (as many a meme would have you believe). I've seen skaters (mostly D-men. . . a goaltender's best friend) do the exact same thing with a lot less padding. . . so. . . skaters are, arguably, much weirder than goalies. ;-) There's a lot of talk about traditions and superstitions that goalies and goalie parents have which, ostensibly, lends credence to how strange we supposedly are. Maybe that is why we are perceived as crazy? Personally, I have only one "superstition:"
We do not talk about the shut out (if it looks like that might happen) during the game. . . ever.
That's it. I've got nothing else. I don't do any of the other silly things you see all over the internet. Who has time for that? I'm too busy stressing out to keep track of a bunch of other things. I asked Henry about this and he says he doesn't have any kind of routine or superstitions. I'll have to take his word for it but his coaches might know something I don't. Bottom line. . . we're really not that strange.
Finally. . . (and this is where I go all "braggadocio hockey mom" on y'all) Grace. Under. Pressure. Goalies MUST have this, in my opinion. Henry has it in spades. I'll tell you all right now--if you don't know hockey--it's fast, it can be rough, and the last line of defense is the goaltender. If you are a head case, it's a problem. Henry and I have talked about this a lot. In fact, it's really the only "advice" I've ever really given him about his playing. Never let the other guys know you are frustrated. Do your job to the best of your ability and never, ever give up. Your team needs you to be solid, calm, and working hard. I've watched some games over the years that were absolutely painful. To his credit, no matter how awfully things are going, Henry is outwardly calm and composed. I joke about his "goalie hunch." When he needs to re-set after a goal, he skates out of the crease, hunches down over his pads and waits for play to resume. We've talked about what's going on in his head before but--as far as anyone else can see--he's ready to keep going. I think this is the thing I love the most about watching him play. Yeah, it's super when everything is going well and his team is winning. . . . but seeing him just steady in net and working when it's a complete dumpster fire? THAT is what makes me the most proud of him. And it is that part of him as a player that I think will take him far in life. When things completely suck, he just keeps working. . . a life skill if ever there was one.
So there you have it, goalies (and their parents) are pretty normal. . . with these exception. . . which ARE true:
1. Yes. . . we buy our vehicles based on whether or not the goalie gear will fit into the back. Imagine my angst over this as I prefer a small car.
2. Yes. . . our player's position is more expensive in terms of gear. We spend more money for them to do what they love so some of us might get a little intense about it.
3. Yes. . .even if we are outwardly calm (that's my MO 99% of the time and Henry's too) chances are pretty good that we are screaming on the inside.
4. Yes. . . if you are a sauce talker, we hate you. We're basically thinking, "Put on the pads yourself or shut your screaming howler."
Like I said, perfectly normal.
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